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November 27th: When I said (see comments) I meant on the bottom of the Deadline blog. in case you didn't get that.  I am so happy to report I can run again! I jogged for five whole minutes on the treadmill yesterday. The last time I jogged was two minutes and ended up in ER. Suffice to say this is the first time I ever went 5 minutes without stopping. Felt good. Still strugging with that shoulder injury, though, but at least I still remember my physical therapy exercises -- didn't help that I faked a pratfall for an audition and twisted it again. Just faking!


Came with with a new history lesson idea. I'm calling it the pop and political connection of the '60s, or something like that. I mean, we go from JFK to Beatles to Monkees to ... well, I don't want to give it all away. I'll work on it and see where it goes. But it goes along with my new edit of Dinner at Marshall Fields -- yeah, just when I think I'm done, I'm not -- decided to go back to the original format but in a new way. 


Gonna do a little local small biz shopping later - are you? No, I don't just mean the local Target...


November 26th: If you want upbeat talk, move along. It appears readers here are just making fun of "Deadline." (see comments) Is that the way with any experimental theater?


"For his comfort I struggle." This is basically the story of my life. I did not need a Kleenex watching the Packer game last Sunday in Green Bay. I heard, probably after I moved there, that Madison is allergy central. Well, it was built on swampland, surrounding by (or surrounding) four lakes. And I'd like to move back to Green Bay where we have family and friends (though it is farther from Carrie (4.40 hours instead of 1.40)) and my allergies aren't so bad. We grew up there. Exactly, my husband would respond. Why go back where they'd see us as failures? Better than not being seen at all! But he's comfortable here, has his city committee to point to for his needed involvement and nothing more. I proved my allergies are worse here - I even proved why he should still be using the treadmill. Because he agrees with me doesn't mean he'll change anything.


But to look at it from another angle, if I were to move us into a retirement village in Madison (where my allergies would be even worse) I would still have my office (though not so private with only two bedrooms) where I escape into projects all day long, and what would he have? No garden, no lawn care. Once we agreed that wherever I wanted to live after retirement he would live. We ended up in Beloit because I knew he hated apartment living in Madison -- effectively giving up my job that was willing to keep paying me but really didn't need me anymore. Beloit seemed like a friendly town, and at first we thought we were going to have friends. We lived in Abrams for 40 years so he could walk (I mean, ride his golf cart) to work and I had to brave the 20 miles one way through blizzards to get to work in Green Bay, or Marinette, not to mention finding day care for 8 months of the year because I refused to abuse my mother-in-law who lived next door. (Ok, the thought of them eating candy at her house all day long didn't appeal to me, either.) So that's why he agreed I could choose where to live after retirement. But here's the thing. He hates change. I love change. He hates travel. I love travel. He hates ... well, he probably hates being married to me but he also hates change. So here we are. Born where Hwy 43 begins, destined to die where it ends.


November 25th: Yes, you're expecting the usual Thanksgiving Day greeting here. But yesterday I had the chance to talk up marketing my Deadline stage play and was asked if I had all the pieces in place - I do want to say that I have a full cast list, main character descriptions, ways to double up on secondary characters so you don't need so many people, and a props list. This is solid, and ready to go. If you're in theater, or have connections, give Deadline a read. I also have some people interested in getting me involved in their material so this will be another busy weekend. But yes, enjoy your turkey or however you celebrate. I'm always glad for another invite to my daughter's house. And that she likes to cook. So maybe now I better go and make my contribution to the day's feast. An exerpt from the new opening of "Dinner at Marshall Fields" - I swear, I never get my works where they need to be.


"I've told my story once before but no one believed me. Now I'm looking over my shoulder as time runs out. I'm going to try telling it again. It's important I make sure someone hears this story, because no one else can tell it like I can. From my perspective.
But I refuse to give in to fear. Not again.
Bobby Kennedy died early this morning, and shortly after I heard that on the radio I looked out the window and saw him. A man in White Shoes, I mean. I saw him before, at Tom's funeral -- my husband, died in '64 -- a man in white shoes. I knew him then but I couldn't figure out why. Then I was dragged away before I could remember.
Now he's out there again, but my brain is foggy about '64. I told as much as I knew back then, but no one believed me. Now there are gaps, things I don't remember, so I need to try again. I need to fill those gaps. I'll keep this notebook handy, so I don't forget again. They say our past memory is selective. We don't want to remember what we don't want to remember. But I have to."


November 24th: I know, I know, I need to post another fun blog. But I don't want to, not until someone requests the script. The nice thing about local theater is that it can be played locally at three different locations at once. Or even more, I guess. So my goal is not to win a Tony, but to have this debut to sold out audiences and get published by Samuel French and earn royalties from all over! If you've not read the blog on the first 10 pages of Deadline, please, do and share your thoughts.


Currently waiting for cleaning lady, a gift from Ben and Amanda for Christmas. I really do need help because I can't use that Kirby very well anymore, since injuring my shoulder back in May. The pain still comes and goes. I just have to remember the physical therapy exercise. Trying SO hard to get back into my yoga and more. Wearing tighter leggings now, next week - jeans! Hope you plan to enjoy a nice hectic or peaceful day tomorrow, giving thanks for ... whatever you can find to give thanks for. I'll be thankful for my clean basement (and that the mouse Keanu brought in doesn't come out while she's cleaning down there).


November 23rd: Hey, where's the month going? Where all the rest went, I guess. I'm having second thoughts about TheaterMakers. It appears the focus is NYC and Broadway. I'm just too low class for all that nonsense. Come to think, I was too low class for the beauty pageant I entered once, and probably too for this talent network I'm in. I'm small town, always was, always will be. I once had a boyfriend and together we used to dream about sharing a mobile home together. Yup! I have a brother who actually calls himself trailer trash. He's also born again and refuses to talk to the rest of us. I know, sad. Anyway, I'll watch a few more of those courses, and I still want my play produced -- anywhere I can. That's goal enough for me. I'll give myself until 12/1 to decide. I think I'm one of those people who's never meant to find a true "home." Not for myself, not for my talent. Except Bonanza! The one success of my life! (Of course, one that people continue to try to take from me.)


November 22nd: If you want more on the Kennedy assassination, you simply MUST get a copy of "From Lincoln to Trump," because this day was the turning point in US politics. Read this and you'll know why. I'm not going to go into what happened yesterday - none of it good. Who needs another downer in an unloving world? I don't. Sorry, no edits to share today. Maybe tomorrow. Oh, if you've tried to read my stage play blogged here and can't, it's because the formatting doesn't carry over. Ask, and I send the script to you. Don't worry, it's copyrighted, I don't suspect you'll steal it.


November 21st: Oh man, just finished the edit of Love Stories, and I am in love with that ending! Should I share it here? No, I better not share it here. But if you want a beta read, let me know. I'm headed out to a Green Bay party today, but here's from the last story in the novel:


As she cried out Arabus leaped and knocked Billy to the ground. "I own your life, remember? That means I can take it, too." He grabbed Billy's throat. The darkness that he kept under control since making love to Liz now emerged in full force. Arabus clamped down on Billy's neck.
Liz picked up the stake. Just as quickly she dropped it and fell to her knees, sobbing. Feeling inside her darkness his soul jerked in pain, giving Arabus his control again. He pulled his teeth out of Billy's neck, after stopping the bleeding. Billy was passed out, but still alive.
Liz threw herself to Billy's side as Arabus backed away. Reassured that he was not dead, she looked up with streaks of angry tears on her face. "You promised me you would never do this. You could have killed him."
Arabus crouched down beside her, longing to lick the wound on her breast clean. "I said the near drowning changed him. I said that Steven Laraby wanted me to help save him from drowning. Steven's ghost begged me to do all of this. His spirit followed me here, and as I revived Billy, Steven's spirit forced himself into your son. Into his son. Elizabeth, Billy has Steven's soul inside him, fighting him for control. You must believe me. You have seen him wanting to claim you for himself."


November 20th: Going to post the first 10 pages of "Deadline" as a blog. Theater people, see what you think. We're seeking a stage. Spent yesterday morning cleaning for the cleaning lady, who then had to cancel. That was difficult, so I went ahead and started cleaning myself, as I suspect we won't see her now til next week. It's Ben and Amanda's Christmas present to us, and they're doing all the arranging. I've not talked to her or met her yet. But so nice of them to do this! I had to take over scrubbing from Joe and wow, that's hard. Never had a living room that needed scrubbing before. Had a quiet day yesterday, otherwise, as I was waiting for three contacts and didn't get any of them. I hate waiting. Found a new product at Target. If you're tired of buying Ziplock freezer bags, they make them now that are dishwasher safe. Pretty cool. Met a guy at Facebook in Screenwriting group who's interested in my Little Bighorn script. We had quite an amazing conversation after he friended me. People still buy into the "Custer was evil" scenario. Read my book! Learn the true story. I came up with a cool idea for Climax I'm anxious to try. Arabus will now longer just attack people, they will have lives and he will uncover them in his attacks, I'm going to draw from the various people I meet at Facebook. So you never know where someone like you might end up!


November 19th:  Sitting at the computer is not supposed to be comfortable. It's work! So I broke down and bought my third ball chair in 25 years - had to get rid of the other two. One destroyed by cats, the second cats were threatening. I have only one good cat now who doesn't threaten. Hope this will help those butt woes. Bouncing is fun! I added a photo for my recent audition shoot. Yeah, CTN finally sent me another one, after screwing around with me in October and making me feel like just a number. Anyway, if you compare that photo to my photo shoot photo from July, you'll see how the medical world (and life) has made me feel and accept my age. Also got my stage play off to a Milwaukee experimental theater. Hope they like it. The second contact seems to have changed his mind. I will need to query a couple of local campuses, maybe one in Illinois, too. Yesterday was a day of accomplishments! Found out I might have to go to another dentist, after being assured going with Deans Health Medicare won't impact that except for giving me dental money again with zero premium. Hey, check it out. I'm also getting a bit of a rebate back to Social Security every month, and rewards. Sound too good to be true? I'll find out! I'll have the first months of 2022 to try it out. Oh, and the advice to read OUTSIDE of your comfort zone is a good one. Now I've come up with a new title for my road poetry. Does this sound more interesting than "Road Alone"? I'm calling it "Wheels on Pavement: Sounds of a Country." Every single person putting pen to paper has something interesting to say. If only there were enough hours in the day to hear all those sounds.  Sorry, no excerpt today. Maybe tomorrow I'll share a bit of "Deadline," my experimental stage play, the kind I've always wanted to direct.


November 18th: I dreamed that I had to cancel my haircut because I couldn't find my car. I opened the wrong garage door, wandered from there, couldn't find my way back. I didn't have shoes on, only socks, started to float, which felt like the normal thing to do. But nothing looked familar. Was I no longer in Beloit?  When my husband finally found me I was in some city's subway market. I asked where I was, and he said Brooklyn. Was he messing with me? I wanted him to see how I could float, but suddenly my feet wouldn't leave the ground. He took me to a restaurant for dinner with friends and as we stood in line, me last, we were swarmed by flying spiders. I was hitting them off him. Who was hitting them off me?


Here's an excerpt from "Love Stories. Yup, a vampire in the Wild West: McKinney forced himself from his chair to a cabinet for a bandage and bound up his bloody neck. He staggered to pick up his hat and gun lying on the floor but when he swooned he was pushed from behind. He fell into a jail cell and passed out. He did not hear the cell lock. Drake wanted to kill him but the lawman had the uncommon strength to stop him. Their paths crossed before but his demons and not his soul made this man's acquaintance. McKinney knew this as well. Both McKinney and Drake did not yet know all the circumstances -- and not knowing drove both of them crazy with rage.


November 17th: Here's something from a new book on the Aztecs, "The Fifth Sun," that struck me as interesting. We see much of this same iconography in the Southeastern tribes pre-contact, illuminating the idea of direct contact with Mesoamerica: "Their shields, decorated with iridescent feathers, also bore the images of such creatures, but they could introduce an element of ironic distance from their animal alter-egos as well, showing not a coyote, for instance, but rather a man dancing as an upright coyote." The other appeal of that statement is because many of us like to associate with an inner animal, which was also used to an extended degree in the TV Series Grimm. If you're not already a fan, you should be.


November 16th: I am in a sublimely good mood thanks to yesterday's doctor's visit. I don't have time right now, but can chat about it when I get back this afternoon. I'm back! And I gotta tell you, I hate to think this is true, but for the first time he did NOT recommend a biopsy, or removing cysts, which he thinks is ordered way too much on people these days. I told him I had three biopsies this year already and am clean so am not worried about. Doc Weinrich was fantastic, he told me about his thesis on the evolution of the thyroid, and about why someone in my grandma's generation needed that goiter removed, why it got so big. It has to do with irradiating tonsils, and I said, no, I don't think they did that to me, they just yanked them out. He says so many people have that growth now, but it doesn't affect anything. He was also interested in me, and especially when he learned I was an author, and a Bonanza author. And finally he said, after writing a 6-month update on the thyroid to see if there are any changes, and got my card to check out my books, he says, "I better go, I could talk all day but do have other patients." Sad to say I've met one doctor I'll be sorry to leave behind when I switch to Dean's Health. But with my other concerns, he's handed me one less of them, and made me feel special at the same time. Cudoes to a great doctor. Because I'm sure I wasn't special to him. And I'm now jealous of those he gets to see more often. Good day shopping, had to buy more easy wear leggings. Tried jeans on Saturday and I'm just not ready. Darn it.


November 15th: Sorry about yesterday's post. When I share from rough drafts, they are generally 'rough.' I need to proof posts better than that. Problem is when my big screen isn't activated, the words are so tiny, and no my  glasses don't work that well. My next is from Love Stories. The narrator (main character in Climax) says this:


I've been making notes along the way about the nature of consciousness that Arabus reveals along the way, knowing, of course, that this is little more than fiction, but perhaps with some knowledge of philosophy along the way. But if I were to quote this source, I could be laughed out of my PhD. Yet I find myself slowly becoming convinced that this Arabus is for real … and that he's out there, close by.


She says other things along the way so this does not just pop up in his story out of nowhere.  Here's the closing paragraph she then responded to:


"Arabus went back out on the trail that MillieMae had made thick and hot with corpses, and he fought to their death the undead vampiric creatures he continued to find. One thing Arabus became sure of -- learning to love was the hardest task humans endured after they attained consciousness on their evolution from the animal world. Animals could mate for life. Had humans really evolved so much, after all, when they could not?"


November 14th: "We can see who the Truckee River was named after; but though smaller than the Humboldt, it was more rapid and discharged more water, being fed by Lake Tahoe. The waters run east for 69 miles then turn and head north, finally emptying into Pyramid Lake, for a descent of 1277 miles overall. Has anyone ever canoed it? I can imagine that would be a challenge. Fishing including Lake Bigler Trout, and later, it was stocked with salmon. It's not where Hoss did his fishing though. We saw him at what was probably Spooner Lake in Hoss and the Leprachauns. There was also a smaller river, the Walker River, but I don't know if we ever heard about that one (on Bonanza). This river feed some of the best agricultural lands in the state. And of course the Carson River. They called this one the only navigable river in the state, and it also fed some nice farm lands, including in Genoa. But then, this was written over 100 years ago. During silver mining mill use back then, it robbed farmers of needed moisture. Sounds like a case of working robs the ability to eat." That's an excerpt from the book I'm working on, "A Cartwright Ride Through Virginia City History." 


November 13th: So what's new this weekend? I was supposed to meet a friend at a lovely village holiday center but she got a sore throat and feared Covid. She didn't want to buy the home test but couldn't get the free one until today so now that's off until the 1st. I got our tickets for a Medievel Joust in Chicago with Carrie and Chris and this time Joe says he'll go. We're doing it on Dec. 26th as our Christmas get-together. Carrie and I had planned to go on Mother's Day 2020 which was also my birthday but we all know what happened to that! They refunded our money, but this one is non-refundable and they require us to wear masks. I took Joe to the Beloit Art Center yesterday, which is hard because he has to go up steps, but he did it. I wanted to show him some art that I thought would make good gifts. And I got to meet a lovely lady, Joyce, who was having some medical issues which is why they hired me and she is so so sweet. Mostly it was just work work work, I didn't get all my steps in yesterday. The weather here is pretty miserable. Hoping to do the dance of joy with granddaughters via skype later today as they got their first Covid shots, then go out to dinner and a movie. Haven't seen French Dispatch yet. Tried one of my yoga DVDs but couldn't get through it, body is just not ready yet. I did learn I can use a heating pad on the sore rib area now, which is still giving me the most grief.


November 12th: I need to up my game somehow, but I do make mention in this new blog of how we can find the truth in history. It's not by leaning too far one way or too far the other, something I've always believed. I hope you read the blog and can understand what it's saying. I'm going to try and find a reason to develop this further, so would appreciate any comments. It's just bones right now. I call this one "History + Theater = Life."


I am happy to announce I am now on the Dean's Health Medicare plan. It means I'll get to change clinics. I've been unhappy at Beloit Clinic for some time now, particularly when my doctor decided to ignore my nauseau complaint because I wouldn't go on medication to control it. I just wanted to know what caused it. I also am having more trouble with my eyes and think the eye doctor I had when I worked at Easter Seals is a better one for this. So I'm back in that system again. It means I can't walk to my appointments anymore, which is a bummer, but I would have had to find a plan that included Mercy Medical, also in walking distance, and UHC didn't have them, either. I really liked the guy at Informed Choice. He felt Dean's Harmony plan was a perfect fit for me. But boy, yesterday was rough. I gotta learn, as long as I'm taking this medication, not to create a reason to get up that early!


November 11th: Informed Choice. Crazy Karma. Amazing how life works. We had to dump last year's Medicare advisor because he was awful. My first year, 2018, I had Informed Choice in Madison and they got me going on UHC, where I've been ever since. So I thought, okay, let's go back there. They were having a presentation in October but since it started at 8 a.m., meaning we'd have to leave at 6:30 a.m. to get there, I decided not to go to that. So then I emailed and asked for a meeting and was scheduled with someone in Green Bay! Well, okay, I guess I can go there on November 1st. We have family there. So we got our forms sent to him for that meeting and then I found he wasn't that easy to reach when I needed him so I asked the office why we were sent there instead of Madison, but that was okay, we were planning to spend the day there. The next thing I know, he's canceling us! So then I had to call Madison and get an appointment, and the only one I could get was -- drumroll -- for 8 a.m. Because the only other opening they had was -- another drumroll -- same time as a long awaited medical procedure. How'd I get this kind of life anyhow?


November 9th: In what universe did I ever think training a kitten to walk on a leash was a good idea? Keanu is now 5, and one of the best hunters around. I took her for a walk yesterday, a park trail that is really the only place in town to take her because she's terrified of people. Well, we did meet a few and she dashed into the thicket, where I then had to follow and untangle her. I give her a pretty long leash so I don't always have to follow her into the briars, but yesterday she just refused to come out so I had to get her. I got loaded with prickly things. It's really cute when she's walking along the beaten path with me, but sometimes she goes so fast I can barely keep up. And then it was time to go back to the car but I had to carry her because it meant getting close to where she heard cars so she wouldn't budge. By the time we got in the car we were both exhausted. The nice thing, though, is she will follow me without a leash when we walk around the block, so her leash training will always be remembered. She was better when we lived in apartments because we could walk and explore the bushes around the apartment buildings, where she could catch mice even when I had her tied out. But here, in suburbia? I tried walking her on a leash and she kept wanting to go up into the neighbors' bushes!


November 8th: Whoops, think I forgot to put this link here. My short story, "The Legend Goes On," is included in the anthology "And the Dead Shall Sleep No More," available as an ebook (so far) at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09KHGYGSQ?fbclid=IwAR35nXnvW-s5vyJiYwLD5WmtJx6GMYjq3l6xO1Ovh2ZDffLSn7nwsGrL3Ek


November 7th: Amazing how long ribs stay sore after you whack 'em! Attended some of the TheaterMakers Summit and it was pretty good, for how much I could pay attention as I got caught up on other stuff. Today I gotta watch the clock for the Keynote speaker. 


November 6th: Yes, I'm late today but I'm back. The Mike and Micky Show was pretty good- I wouldn't say great. Mostly I felt this lack of connection to Micky, but Mike went all out to relate to the fans. I sense they are not really very good friends, and the repartee between them didn't sparkle. Mike's peformance was like a love song to the fans, though, and since he's in bad health, this IS officially his farewell.  Nice time with Carrie and her beau Chris, who introduced me to "What We do in the Shadows," a show I'm now hook on. Yeah - it's about vampires, but it's a comedy, so that's fine with me to make fun of coffins and shit. 


November 5th: It's hubby's birthday today, and I made him his requested breakfast with the "Here we come, walking down the street" running through my head. I've heard such wonderful things about Mike & Micky's farewell tour that I sure hope I'm not disappointed. Isn't that the way? We build up expectation only to be let down?  Sure hope not, but anyway, it'll be an experience seeing it with daughter Carrie, who is a media and fandom expert. 


I took the plunge yesterday and bought a lifetime membership to TheaterMakers, which includes a ticket to their Summit this weekend. Of course this has to be my busy weekend, but I'm going to try and peek in tomorrow and I believe I can also Sunday morning, when they're having Andrew Lloyd Weber as their keynote speaker. Fun! How far I'll get with it, I don't know. But I have until 12/15 to cancel. I'm trying to turn Graveyard into a stage play. It'll be a nightmare for the lighting people.


November 3rd: So why do you suppose I had to wait until today to appear in Night Court to plead guilty to a traffic ticket I got on August 27th? That many people caught speeding? I was just going to pay it but the cop said, after hearing why, that I should appear and explain and maybe they won't take the points off my license which could make my insurance go up. See what a little mistake can cost you? I do have a story, of course. I will plead guilty, only because I saw I was speeding and took my foot off the gas, preparing to brake when I saw the flashing lights behind me. BT is a very dark road at night. I am so rarely on it at that time, where there are no lights, no houses, no businesses of any kind. Since I was feeling nauseous after my two hours behind the wheel, to Madison and back on a Sunday night, I just wanted to get home before I puked. It had been a very long day with 9 people in the house for both lunch and supper. I hadn't yet had my first appointment with my doctor since my ER visit, and let me tell you, when you've recently puked, you don't forget how awful that feels. All during 2021 I'd been having some nausea, worse especially if I sit too long. I was so afraid that any moment I was going to have to pull over. And then, of course, I had to pull over. I don't know if that'll have any impact on the ticket I got, but having to wait this long to find out has been agonizing. I drive a hybrid! I don't speed! Damn it.


November 1st: How was your Halloween? Any fun new insights? I did a goddess reading and a tarot reading on our future. I plan to blog on this, along with the rules on how to play Cards Against Humanity when all you have are two living human beings. The solution? Play with ghosts! I don't suggest inviting more than two, however. We had a lot of trick-r-treaters, which was fun. Our first year here, very few, because we were new and I'm not sure we were even home for the second, and then it was Covid, so this year, we got 'em! Keanu of course hid, but by 6:30 she was ready to go out. Unfortunately on our walk we hit a guy who was mowing his lawn with a flashlight, so she wouldn't go any further. We only saw a few treaters by that time, pretty much over, although they could go out until 7. She has this sense to her, though, Keanu does. She just didn't sense a lawnmower that time of night that far away. That guy is nice but he has a weird wife. I'm sure she kicked him outside to wait for kids so she wouldn't be bothered. I'm making good progress on house cleaning - I've taken over scrubbing floors, a floor a day with just the two hard hard rooms left. Good exercise though, right? 

October 31st: Any spook-tacular plans? I wanted to do Ouija but waited too long to try and buy one, so will have to settle for a read of our future with tarot cards. And maybe get some Goddess card advice. That's usually pretty helpful. Also maybe play Crimes Against Humanity with two 'ghosts." We did that before and my dead mom won, indicuating you can throw down any old card and have it work. Try that sometime. We saw Last Night in Soho yesterday and it was amazing. I wish I could write a script like that. A girl moves out of a dorm into an old house and becomes possessed by the ghosts of murdered men there from the '60s, so finds herself transported back and forth. Really cool. And no, they don't promote it that way so maybe now I just ruined it for you. But I sense people aren't going to see it because of how it's promoted, so maybe that will help.


October 30th: Negatives from others in control of our lives need to be confronted. My husband once called me thin-skinned, but does someone with thin skin set themselves up for rejection over and over. Instead, he called me what he is, but the fact that he would come out and even brand me with a negative hurts. He's the kind of person who rarely says what he's feeling. We've been married 46 years and I honestly still do not know who he is. I had a publisher back in 1994 who referred to me as someone who was channeling Arabus Drake, because he came to me in a dream and I was obsessed about bringing him to life. They ultimately rejected my book, saying the idea was good but that "writer is incapable of execution." That has haunted me ever since, and still does as I embark on yet another edit of this novel and series. "You're lucky you get any at all," was the comment made by my acting agent about all my missed auditons. I was looking for a little input about how to do them better and that's what I get? Does he not know how diminished I feel about the one talent I thought I had? Since that event a while ago where he said I was asked for, I have not heard from him. Perhaps he now truly believes that about me and is only keeping me around as a number. Oh, and no, no ovarian cancer either. Does anyone wonder why that might be just a little disappointing? Has anyone else had these experiences? People putting you down right where you thought you had some talent? Please see me as a confidante.


I have blogged the second half of my vampire article with some fun new material in time for Halloween. I hope you enjoy it but will understand if you don't. Just don't tell me. I'm really bummed that I cannot post in time for Halloween where to buy the vampire anthology I'm included in. I thought that was the plan, but I guess not.


Had a wonderful time at the Beloit Art Center this week. I do seem to have what they need, first place I found in this town to appreciate that.


October 29th: Gonna reach 800 hits this month! Thanks to all for making that happen. It feels un-worldly. I'm late today but still recupping from last night's Packers win over the Cardinals. Who woulda thunk!? I know I bet against them, because of being down their three best receivers and their defensive coordinator out on Covid protocol. But doggone if they didn't find a way to pull that off!? It helped they got ahead and stayed there, but that last drive they couldn't put the game away with a score, and the Cardinals nearly pulled it off at the end but their QB was limping, threw to a guy in the end zone who didn't expect the ball and it got intercepted! And here's fun - Joe says that was a recent sign off the Cardinal practice squad! Just how clever IS this Packer manaagement now? I do think we can thank Aaron Rodgers too, for creating just a great team atmosphere for them all to work their best.


Joe had a scare yesterday and now tomorrow's plans are canceled. We also got our meeting in Green Bay for Monday canceled. All kind of bums me out but I guess it's also for the best, as driving isn't exactly comfortable for me right now. Joe's birthday is Friday but I'll have that day with my daughter to go to a Monkees concernt, and then she'll come over on the 7th to watch the game for his birthday. He's much happier about that. The man doesn't even want to go to her house anymore. It just depresses the heck out of me because I love to travel anywhere anytime. Sigh.


October 28th: "God rest his soul." Think about what that expression means, and then read part two of my blog on Saturday.  You know, I never really have anything planned when I sit down here. I like to try and say something that might make or even change your day, but I have no way of knowing what works. It's like that when I write a novel. Will I hit a market with this? Well, remember I thought I could do the Amazon audition video in 30 seconds? The first take was over 6 minutes! I tried to edit it but failed. So I did it again. My battery died part way in so then I had two videos and this time i watched the timer on the second one, kept it under five minutes but forgot about the first one to splice it! I didn't like my hair in that one, anyway. The third time was the charm, but I really liked what I said in the first two more. Oh well. We'll see what happens. I really have been with Amazon for a very long time.


Two really strange things though, yesterday. I discovered that the 10 minutes of transcription on Tuesday was saved without having my external hard drive attached, where I was saving it! How does that happen? The files there do not automatically upload to Google as far as I know. And after I sent in my Amazon audition, I got an email from Casting Network congratulating me on auditioning and wouldn't I like to join their network for more opportunities? Wait - I'm already there! Who sent me that audition? And then Casting Network sent me that opportunity! To which I had to respond, already submitted.


Gotta get back to cleaning the house tomorrow, a room at a time, small to big. It's been too long. Sigh. I was suposed to vaccuum the basement family room last month and never did so that's still hovering. I hate that room. It's rarely used, still gets dirty.


October 27th: Has this month just flown by?? Well, yes and no. I am still recupping but at least I have plenty of projects, including a huge transcription project, to keep me busy. I will have an added treat on Part Two of my Vampire blog for you. Oh, I love working with words! This morning I have to video a pitch for Amazon Prime via Casting Network, talking for five minutes about how it changed my life. Five minutes? More like 30 seconds! Sigh. The things I do for money. Climax edit is done but I felt something was missing. Then I figured it out. Like the other two in the series, it needs a narrator! Now I just have to figure out who? The ESP Brother? The Hubby who gets changed in the end? Or Lou herself, the object of Arabus's love? I do think it'll work, but I need to do an edit of the other two books before I go back to it. I'll get this trilogy published - or die trying!


October 26th: Why do I always think of pithy things to say the night before and forget them in the morning? Yeah, yeah, I have a notebook by my computer but that's not where I am when I think of them. Okay, you're right, I need to write them down. Just had a fun thing happen - consider me once an understudy, now a star! I'm cast for the murderous lead in a short film where before I had only a phone-in role! Fun! First time that ever happened. Now I can use my Jekyll and Hyde look. Are you not initerested in spooky real things around Halloween? Or did you miss the part about my blogging vampire myths? Go check it out. I'll post part two on Saturday. No Packer game on Sunday so that day will be spent in spooky endeavors. Plan to pick up a Ouija board today.


October 25th: Every day, we need to involve ourselves in self-examination. I don't see it as egotistical, but more as  a way of figuring out how our relations to the world are working out. Yesterday I had another lesson in my most horrible flaw (no, not my profile) called interruptitis. We were having a lovely conversation with Amanda on her birthday and I was wondering if she knew the second part of the gift we sent. As she was explaining, I interrupted and I shouldn't have! We always have good conversations, and I didn't have my hearing aids in. I think my problem, then, is not listening completely to someone else, but figuring I know ahead of time where they're at, without complete comprehension. One reason for it is if I don't interrupt, I'll forget what I was gonna say. I have to get used to the idea that if I forget what I was gonna say, it wasn't important anyway. And that makes interruptitis egotistical.


October 24th: I'm being taken apart piecemeal. Is that what the medical world is? All specialists with no one knowing what the other is doing to you? It's been an odd journey to here - from 2019 when I was undergoing physical stress tests to see if I could donate a kidney, to 2020's covid shutdown, to 2021 and suddenly I'm a broken down car? How does that happen? Did any of you experience any weird medical needs after getting your Covid vaccination? Or is this sheer coincidence, because I just had too many things laying dormant? Did the stress of the shutown do me in? I'll probably never have answers.


Anyway, made another step toward a new program, getting out of film auditions means getting back to theater, for me - I signed up for a theater writing production program consultation. We'll see how much that's gonna cost! I have a way to pay. I do have a job coming up, after all, and am hoping to get a lot of my own projects done before that starts so I can focus on fun things before and after work to lower stress. I also thought of moving (on my own if necessary) to Madison after the job is done but now I figure I'll have to wait for Ben and Amanda and the girls to visit next summer. But I can certainly get things in progress in that direction. The weakness of both of us dictates this move to a retirement village sooner rather than later. Joe has been doing phone chats with a therapist who is getting him to see that moving is probably a good idea -- of course, it's never a good idea if I suggest it. How many of you have a spouse like that, where they have to hear it from someone else?


Anyway, have a nice Sunday. Go Pack, being led by the smartest quarterback out there. And to today, getting to walk around the block again, looking forward to being back.


October 23rd: Now available: Part one of my blog "Vampires: Reality Behind the Myth." Part Two coming next Saturday.


Yup, survived. Hard day today, not much sleep last night. That's twice now I got more than expected in one of these. This time instead of removing cysts I got the whole Jolie treatment. Her mom and my mom are both Bertrands. Her mom died of ovarian cancer. Dr. P said cysts were too big and had to remove ovaries and fallopian tubes. Jolie had it done as a precaution.


October 22nd: Haven't got a lot to say about today, except for facing the fear throughout and being glad when I can come back here tomorrow to say I survived it. Suffice to say that this year has been a comedy of medical miscommunication. If I could go there with a sack over my head today, I would. As bad as 2020 was, this year is harder, for me, anyway. I wonder how many others are having residual effects of the shut-down? I think all I have is a stress disorder but they have to check everything to be on the safe side. Huh. Why don't I feel safe?


I had a pithy comment I was going to make here, but can't remember it. Let's move into a new project to help save the wild horses of the west. Can you imagine, even for a second, what life would be like without the horse. What would our mode of transportation be like now? Why does anyone think they have the right to slaughter wild horses for food? Just because they can? Because it's a new source of income? Register your horror at Department of the Interior - and tell them to reel in the Bureau of Land Management's selling off these wonderful animals to Mexico for food.


October 21st: They're badgering me over at AG about copyrighting my books in case of "litigation." I told them all my experiences with protecting my rights, etc., but no big deal to add a few bucks in copyright, right? Wrong. Should I tell them about all my medical procedures, and my husbands and how I'm waitng for the bills to roll in? How we don't have a pension, just SS to live on and a once or twice a year commercial? Sure I have a job coming up in January but I'm not getting paid now. We're still trying to settle into the house and have a new dining room order coming it to pay for? Buying a lifetime copyright is an amount I cannot justify. And they have not convinced me of the need. No one answers my questions. 


Had a nice day at the Art Center yesterday. Day went fast because the photography artist with walls of fabulous stopped in and because I'm a photography nut we talked for well over an hour, until the portrait photography artist came in, with some questions I couldn't answer. This time when I locked up no one was around, so I had to lock the front door, and go out the back. The only stress there is wondering if I locked everything up right.


Today I'm sending out an audition for an older hair care model. How many of you keep a hair care diary? I should be a shoe-in, right? Yeah, my agency is ignoring me now, so I'm auditioning for the small stuff. It's not so hard, not so much pay, not a big deal.


Am I too combatant? Let's just say I stand up for my rights.


October 20th: UPDATE:  Find out how you can help the wild horse population at https://www.skydogranch.org/?fbclid=IwAR1A0w0skcrThwv6S5lePEx8qall39dwLBRZeY5hDPH68YTtC8evpHVvDKs


Had a beautiful day yesterday with Keanu, my cat since she was 3 weeks old. The only cat I spent her entire kittenhood with, taking her places on harness and leash. What an amazing animal she is. First she's a great hunter, which is daunting enough when she's leashed. I took her to the Turtle Creek Trail yesterday, where she'd been only once before, and was terrified. Well, second time is always better. She has a great memory and this time loved it. She took the trail jogging and even went up trails that led to water. She found a snake! I'd not seen a snake in years. It was just a tiny one, so she probably didn't need me to tell her to leave it alone.  At one point I let go of the leash and let her walk through the woods, as I could follow on the trail and get to her if I needed to. But other times she wanted to go through the underbrush, and I would say, "I can't go there," as I always said when she was a kitten. So she'd eventually back out. She did not want to go back to the car but we did have a vet appointment. And good thing we did, because her happiness was about to be marred by a dog walker who'd just pulled in.


October 19th: First things first! Just got done with the book proof of "So The Legend Goes," finally getting published in an anthology of short vampire tales. I loved reading it! It held together so well, and it also goes really well with my decision for the new domain name - ready? Yup! www.UnravelingTheMyth.com - i have written a blog that I will post as soon as this domain is active, explaining why it fits. It definitely fits that short story that I will promote the hell out of. The story is an alternate view - a woman's ghostly view - of what happens when Mikos bursts free of the grave. It was just delightful to read it this morning and know that I only had to add a few missing words, and not rewrite the whole thing. Hopefully it'll be ready for Halloween sales - speaking of which, I'm thinking of buying a Ouija to play with that day. Fun, eh?


2022 cannot come too soon for me. in 2020 I made the decision to go "cheap" on my 2021 Medicare supplement with zero premiums because - hey - I didn't use it! And then I fell apart this year. Seems to have happened after the vaccine but I can't blame that, as last summer I felt the cramping that started the search for the root of it and feeling nauseous after eating on occasion. I was sure it was my gall bladder and that diverticulitis, so I didn't bother getting better Medicare. Well, I have hated every minute of working with these doctors at Beloit Health Clinic. Dr. T was a replacement for the other doctor I had before I got this 'value' insurance. And that go-around I had with Dr. P! If only she had been more proactive! Now I can't go to Monticello for an artifact show on the 24th as planned because she suddenly (?) realized she couldn't fit me in on the 21st as planned and will have to do a special surgery for me on the 22nd. Hey, you don't know that before, you just tell me yesterday? When it's too late for me to back out? Okay, to be fair, I backed out twice before but once was because I wanted to be sure I could go to Monticello. Okay, yeah, joke's on me. And yes, that's the difference a day makes. I'm sure I won't feel up to it now. And it would have been done on the 7th if only she had been proactive about what I needed to do following my Cardiac Cath on 9/30. Oh, only me this stuff happens to. And I really really get tired of it.


October 18th: Last night I spent sleeping time drifting between awake and asleep in some land where I was aware I was sleeping but not dreaming, a land not insomniac but not able to fully engage with the netherworld. Have you ever felt that? I was aware of the night passing as I slept. And fully engaged with the dawn with the idea that the saddest thing about the passage of time is also the passing of dreams.


October 17th: Well, that is the very LAST time I'll embarrass myself on a trail ride for kids! Honestly, I could have walked the horse faster than that! And top humiliation on top of it, the trail boss made it sound like it was my fault in front of everyone, so I kept telling the horse to giddyup, giving it a kick, thinking I'm missing the magic words, and it didn't matter one bit to that horse. It didn't like walking downhill but showed a little effort uphill and went at its own pace no matter what. So why did that trail bossy lady think she had to embarrass me like that? I was much better off just enjoying whatever pace the horse wanted rather than worrying myself to death. There was some pretty scenery, too. But they wouldn't let us take photos. How sad to think that'll be my last memory on a horse. I should have gone during the week. Why did I think Saturday was a good day? 


October 16th: I've been thinking a lot about this, due to this year's experiences with chronic pain and etc., and I think the only way I'm going to get rid of this stress disorder is by completely quitting everything I'm trying to accomplish. But would that even be possible for a Type A like me? I simply hate being bored. One thing I got tired of was crocheting, with a doily sitting half finished in a basket. Now that I have a transcription job, I worry about my fingers giving out even more. But to quit writing, acting, commercials, those things that tend to get me "worked up?" I don't see how. And now I want to find a way to do a web series, which would simply be putting up a new section of my copper documentary I've been filming over the years, each with a new introduction, once a month. I don't know how to do that, of course. Another stresser! But how to stop the stress? It's not active worry. I really don't worry. I just accept, at least, on a conscious level.


October 15th: Got my volunteer job hours in yesterday at a place I'd never been before, Beloit Art Center, downtown Beloit. I think, I hope, they like me and will keep me on. For now it's to cover for someone starting chemo (poor thing). But definitely the low stress environment I was looking for. The only issue yesterday was did I do everything to lock it up right? I didn't have any visitors, darn, or issues to handle. Just saw some of the artists walking around. It's a really cool place! If you haven't been, go! Especially if you're local. Free to walk around and look at stuff, and nice gift shop for your holiday shopping. Of course that just leaves me less time for the other things I have to do.


But here's fun - you know I've had problems with my talent agency lately - lied to me about being requested so I broke my back getting a video out for them after 3 hours sleep, only to hear nothing afterward - NADA. Well, yesterday I got an unexpected check in the mail. Okay, not a fortune but it turns out Deans Health is using my commercial another two weeks this year, we're now in the period of time where seniors can change their medicare plan, and now I really think I'd like to go with their plan. So I'll have to check it out. A pleasant surprise though, and maybe one that'll make my agent appreciate me a little more? (Doubtful.)


October 14th: I think I mentioned how like a failure I feel here in Beloit. I now have an opportunity to try and succeed, as a volunteer, anyway, at the Art Center in Beloit. I've signed up through October, one day a week, and am looking forward to a fairly stress-free experience. I'll see by the end of Octrober if that's how it turns out.  New BLOG today is on experiences as a substitute teacher in two school systems north of where I lived in Abrams. Perhaps schools don't treat subs like this anymore, but since Joe's experience is here in Beloit, I'm not betting on it. If you work in a school system, I would love if you could pass these tips on. And final note for today, I finally got my laproscopy scheduled for next Thursday. But I hope she's a better surgeon than her staff is at scheduling.


Insomnia last night, mourning for Nubi again. Went out on the porch at 1 a.m. because the temps were actually reading at 68, which sounded pleasant. Then Keanu decided it was the perfect time for us to walk. So we did.


October 13th: Yes, I am trying to be a film star. How'd you guess? Actually, everything I'm attempting is to try and make money doing what I love. Isn't that what life is all about? Just because I'll never get there doesn't mean I stop trying. Yesterday was fantastic! Olive and Don at the Green Isle Museum in Hebron are such nice people. It's not a huge museum but listening to them talk about this museum in such a small town with fervent passion is worth the visit. They'll be closed after this week, but do keep it in mind if you're ever in southern Wisconsin, it's off on a lovely side road journey between Hwy 43 at Delavan and Hwy 29/94 at Johnson Creek. And they have a Pie Auction Luncheon there the first Sunday in May. After our visit, I noted three sales of books at Amazon. Could they have been just as happy with what I said about their copper? 


October 12th: Did Columbus ever stop and think, no we shouldn't go that way. There could be people living there. No, it was Oh! There's people living here. Let's subjugate them. Enslave them. That's European mentality hitting the Americas.


Off to a copper museum today, a really unlikely place I never would have thought of, and it gives me the shudders thinking of all the places I've been missing. In Michigan, they're having an "archaeology day" and I asked this friend if there would be copper involved. And he says Marquette has a lot of copper in their museum. And now I'm really worried that I'd never gotten it from them. Oh, I'm sure I contacted them. There are a lot of places that I contacted that either never responded, or said they weren't in a position to let me go through the collection. But what if I didn't even (gulp) contact them?


October 10th: What is your mental makeup? The things about you that defy changing? Mine is probbing, honesty, judging, logical, analytical (and there's two others I thought of, so I guess forgetful has to be included).


I am also not someone who waits to see how others like new technology. Was the first in our circle to get a microwave, for instance, and in the forefront for those vaccines, while others wait around to "see how they work" first. When it came to the Fitbit 5, focusing on stress relief, I jumped right in. It's a little confusing. It's got all these bars, and I thought they represented how close you were to your step goal. I went on a long walk yesterday, and sure enough, those bars went up. But when I got home and sat, they disappeared again! WTF? You can't erase my steps just because I sat. I also wanted to see if I could get a band for this that isn't this annoying rubber. The face of it is a nice stainless steel, though. I had my Fitbit HR Inspire for 3.5 years and it still works well, but the face appears to be getting rubbed off. You can still see everything, but it just looks rubbed. (Anyone want it? Still works! $5 postage, that's all!)


So I went back to the Fitbit site with these two questions. Yes, they have other bands for sale. I'll save that idea for later. But no information on using it that I could find. So I went to Amazon and found this:  https://www.amazon.com/Fitbit-Advanced-Management-Tracking-Included/dp/B09BXDZ9BD/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1FFL9K0K25B4H&dchild=1&keywords=fitbit+5+watch&qid=1633871105&rdc=1&sprefix=fitibit+5%2Caps%2C429&sr=8-3


October 6th: Great research day yesterday. Can't confirm more right now until I put to material to use, but it appears there were enough pleas from Virginia City to the government to retain the silver standard. I'll update the article, it's for the book but serves as a good teaser here, too. Found a perfect table and two chairs on sale at Steinhafels, only to order and learn that the chairs won't arrive for three months, and the table three months later. Glad I opted for free financing! At least that won't kick in until the first shipment. And then there's the new prescription that Dr GI and I went round and round about. He promised a one month supply. What I picked up was three months. Even odder - he called me about 4 p.m. not much later, and said he was returning my call. But - I didn't call, I says. I was in Madison since 8 that morning. And then I told him about the pills. ESP? Why not? Weird things happen around me A LOT.


October 5th: Had go rounds with two doctors. One once me to come back in and reschedule appointments, which I don't want to do because every time I go in it's another $50. It's not my fault I had the stupid heart thing, or want to keep being poked - that surgery would have been this thursday but I had that other one a week ago. So geez, give me a little break, okay? Instead of giving me a new date, like she should, I had initally asked for the 21st back but got no response. So then I said, well, let's wait until next year. And on and on. Anyway, I also wanted to talk to the GI about a different pill with maybe less side effects. I mentioned one a friend takes and instead of calling to see what side effects I was having, he just prescribed it! Crap. So we had a go-round about that. Apparently I'm just supposed to get used to feeling this way. Goodie.


October 4th: UPDATE: Has anyone else noticed that Facebook is down, and for more than just a few minutes? Stay in touch with me here! I'd hate to lose contact with so many people. 


October 2nd: Okay, walked 18,000 steps yesterday. I guess that's overdoing it. Heart surgeon nicely called me after dinner last night so that he could clarify everything I didn't understand of his accent under his mask. So now we're on the same page. He withdrew medication and told me a vitamin (Red Yeast) to help reduce cholesterol. Also walked the street where Nubi died and glared at every car that drove by. No answers anywhere.


October 1st: Somebody motivate me, please! It's so hard to want to do anything after a beloved pet is killed. And under suspicious circumstances, too. I told Joe I don't like living here in Beloit, and now I think someone deliberately smashed our Siamese cat over the head - for what? For chasing a few bunnies and squirrels around? 


Monette Bebow-Reinhard spent years, while raising children, satisfying her artistic bent by acting, directing and writing plays. She wrote her first movie script in 1975 but author William Peter Blatty said it was already a movie. In 1993 she gained access to the world of Bonanza through contact with its producer/creator, David Dortort. After three years, during which she promoted a script she wrote, she met with him in LA and convinced him she could write Bonanza material. After the Calder contract ended, she became the authorized Bonanza writer with two novels published, now in 2nd and 3rd editions. She continues to write movie scripts and has won several minor awards. Her first Bonanza novel, Felling of the Sons, won two awards; a first and a second place. She earned a master's in history in 2006 and Dortort felt her vision of the Civil War, and of Lincoln, was the same as his. She picked up a co-author for Dancing with Cannibals, an African historical in 1906, using his research and vision to help him make it a controversial and exciting adventure. Between 2016 and 2017 three novels got contracts but all are no longer available, due to her disappointment in these two publishers. She has done a lot of film acting in recent years, is agented, and filmed a local commercial that aired, even in prime time, in 2020. 

Bebow-Reinhard’s most recent publication is SAVING BOONE: Legend of a Kiowa Son. This was previously published in unmarketable form with a horrible title and cover by All Things that Matter Press. Now in a new, more condensed edition, for young adult to adult, it has a great cover as you will see in the excerpts tab. It is very hard to find a publisher for an OOP book, especially one I never marketed.




MICHIGAN: COPPER ARTIFACT RESOURCE MANUAL: This would be appropriate for anyone who enjoys reading about the ancient past and their first metal technology, with lots of fun insights from professonals and a few theories of my own. 


FROM LINCOLN TO TRUMP: A Political Transformation, 2nd edition: Added features include a look at ALL presidential elections, and finishing Trump's presidency with much of his own words. You'll see more dedication to issues of economics, the Supreme Court, and women's rights, along with some cleaner text and less of my intrusive thoughts.

CIVIL WAR & BLOODY PEACE: FOLLOWING ORDERS, 2nd edition – a soldier's orders that are followed between 1862 and 1884 show relevance to today's world. Divisiveness today is easier to understand, and maybe even to deal with when we see the similarities related to race and equal rights. How did we get this way?

FELLING OF THE SONS – In 1860 Nevada, after the Paiute War, a father fights a nemesis out to destroy all he loves. His dilemma, when all three of his sons are in danger in different directions, which one does he rescue first?

MYSTIC FIRE – The Civil War in the East reaches Nevada when runaway slaves are sent to find a Cartwright to help stop Lincoln and end up tearing the family apart.

DANCING WITH CANNIBALS – Are cannibals monsters or real people? You might be surprised. Follow the adventures of two colonists to the Belgian Congo in 1906 and discover the reason some cultures eat human flesh, and how they struggled in this historical fiction to keep their world from being decimated.


GRAVEYARD: A dead woman chases her identical twin to a new town in a comedic attempt to claim her husband and her children, getting them mixed up in some afterlife hi-jinx. 

THE BIGHORN DECEIT: An infantry soldier in 1876 feels torn between duty and what's right. A FINALIST IN THE 2020 CREATIVE WORLDS AWARD COMPETITION.

AWAKENED: In 1503 Greece a cowardly soldier loses control of his demons after enacting vengeance for his undeath.

THE MEXICAN WALL AFFAIR: A Mexican woman gets rescued beyond expectation when she calls to her gods for help. ENTERED INTO CINEQUEST 2021.

DEAD MAN'S PASS: A cattle drive turns deadly when the drovers are forced to take on an obsessed drifter.


IF IT RAINS IN PARIS: Secrets tear apart a mother, daughter and granddaughter while on vacation together far from home.




DEADLINE: Envisioned as the afterlife of assassinated people, and a play that the characters can be cast as any age and any sex.


SAGA OF THE BUTCHER BROTHERS: Fun in a saloon when one of three "brothers" turnsout to be a sister.